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Last Public Post!

Hey everyone!

Just so you know, this is the last post viewable to the public. All of my posts in the future will be limited to livejournal friends only. I have been getting a lot of anonymous comments on my posts lately and it's freaking me out, because I just don't know who it is reading and responding! So if you want to keep reading, send me a friend request!


I've been getting a lot of "anonymous" comments on my journal entries, it's creeping me out. It's always ones about the baby too, which makes me even more uncomfortable. I have no idea who these people are! I might have to just switch my account to friends only. It's not like I post on here regularly anyway.

Speaking of baby, 11 days till the due date!

happy thanksgiving everyone! (even you anonymous commenters!)

Is it Friday yet?

I finished one of my classes today. It was an accelerated half-semester course, I took two  of those at the beginning of the semester, then I'm taking 2 regular full-semester courses, and since the 2 half-semester classes are ending this week, I'll be starting one more half semester class that starts next week. So basically, I was taking 4 classes, and as of next week it will only be three. I'm pretty much done with the other class too but for some reason the professor marked one of my projects with a grade of 0 (which I don't understand because I turned it in EARLY...)

I emailed her last week about it but still haven't gotten a response. The class ends tomorrow so I'm starting to get nervous. That's the downside to having your classes online, my professor is in Kansas and I'm up here in Maine. It's not like I can storm in there and make her feel like an idiot for not getting back to me. My advisor is a dingbat as well. I have to talk to her on the phone every semester before registering for courses for the next semester. I wish that wasn't a requirement, because she's clueless and it's a waste of my time and all it does is gets me more stressed. She really should find another line of work, she's severely confused about my degree, what I need to take/don't need to take, and pretty much everything else involved with being my "advisor". Whatever, I'm almost done with her. Unless she pulls another course out of her ass that she insists I need to take before I graduate that I actually do NOT need to take. Can you tell I'm bitter much?

Anyway I took a final today in my Recruitment, Selection, & Retention course. So glad to be done with that one but it wasn't a bad class. Labor Relations & Collective Bargaining is the other class I'm finishing up right now, it's not bad but I don't love it. And then I'm taking an English II class which is rediculous, because I took it at UCONN and this school isn't recognizing it as transfer credit. But w/e, it's pretty easy, just annoying. Then there's Production & Operations Management which I was dreading, but it has turned out not to be as intense as I thought. A lot of math though which I don't love. And I start Leadership Behavior next week. That class seems to be way excessive in terms of work just from looking at the syllabus, but who knows. We'll see.

I will be 33 weeks pregnant on Sunday, I really can't believe that. This has flown by. Very exciting times! I'm also so nervous, but we're just gonna do our best and go with the flow. Another exciting life development is that we ordered new appliances from Sears. Well not ALL new appliances, just a dishwasher and fridge. Our dishwasher died a couple of weeks ago, and Dean fixed it but then it died for good. With the baby coming, we knew we couldn't live without one, so we went to Sears to get one, and then decided to get a fridge too because it was less expensive than we thought, and we got a good deal. They came in on Tuesday, and my dad brought his trailer to pick them up and deliver them to us. But when him & Dean went to get them at Sears, dean noticed the fridge was ordered in the wrong color. We got them both in black, and the fridge was white. So they had to cancel it, reorder it in black, blah blah blah. So now it won't be in until next Tuesday, and it makes me mad because now my dad has to go back to get it, and he's so busy! I think I'm going to call sears tomorrow, and tell them it was their mistake that they ordered it in the wrong color, and see if they will give us a free delivery when it comes in. I know my dad doesn't mind going back to pick it up, but it is still a hassle and irritates me. But, new appliances! YAY! The only issue is that our old broken dishwasher still has water in it, because it won't drain. So we have to borrow a wet/dry shop vac and get the water out before we can put the new one in. But hopefully that will happen this weekend!

We got a rug doctor rental from Hannaford and cleaned our living room rug, and what came out of it was absolutely disgusting. It's all Coda's fault (dog). But he's so cute I love him anyway! 

That reminds me, the other night we were talking randomly about I can't remember what, but Dean said something to Coda like, "will you still love me in 40 years?" and I was all like, "he won't be here then!"

And then I realized that he has such a short life and won't be with us forever, and it broke my heart! I started bawling and continued to cry for the next 10 minutes. I was inconsolable, poor Dean didn't know what to do. Gotta love hormones! I finally pulled myself together though. I love that dog.

I did my fingernails tonight because I feel gross and fat and scrubby and any little thing like that makes me feel better! I wanted to do my toenails too, but can't reach them now that my belly is ginormous so I said screw it! Flip flop weather is over anyway :D

We are looking for a new car before Hailey comes too. I've decided I hate car shopping, and I haven't even physically gone to look at them yet. Only online. Isn't it supposed to be fun/exciting? ughhh. I think I don't like it because I don't want a car payment - we don't have one at all right now. Plus, I don't know exactly how much it will cost having a baby, but I know it will be expensive. We are doing well now, making ends meet and stuff, but with a car payment and a baby, I get nervous! Anyway, I'm sure it will be fine. I will be excited when I can start taking my anxiety medication again, can you tell I need it? Haha.

That's all for now, have a good weekend everyone!

Is it Friday yet?

I had my glucose screening test today at the babydoctor's. I've been dreading it, from other pregnant chicks I've heard that it's not a FUN appointment to have. You basically have to drink this super sugary drink, and it tests you to see whether you have gestational diabetes. You drink the crap, wait an hour, then they take your blood. They told me not to eat anything before the appointment which was at 8AM. I was late as usual, and they brought me right in and gave me a choice between orange & fruit punch. I chose orange. Then they gave me a tiny paper cup, and kept pouring the drink in the cup and sat there as I drank it. They refilled the damn cup at least 6 or 7 times, but I got it down. Honestly, it wasn't as bad as I thought. The worst part was sitting there for an hour waiting, but they always make you wait at doctors offices anyways so it wasn't too bad. I had a regular appointment with the doctor while I was waiting for them to take my blood, but that was 10 minutes at the most. Hailey's heartbeat was in the 130's/140's according to the doctor. I didn't ask if that was good/bad but I'm assuming it was good.

Also, they always tell me my blood pressure numbers everytime, and I don't know what to say because I don't know how to interpret those numbers. My assumption that it's good unless they tell you it's bad? I always just smile and nod when they give me the numbers.

I was going in every 4 weeks, but now that I'm in my 3rd trimester, I'm going every 2 weeks. The doctor said it will take a couple of days to get results back from my glucose test, but she said if I don't hear anything, that's a good thing. If they do call me it means I failed the test, which doesn't necessarily mean that I have diabetes. It just means that I have to come back in for a three hour glucose test, and drink the crap every hour. So fingers crossed that I passed this time! Anyway, after meeting with the doc, they told me to go wait the rest of the hour in the waiting room. I stopped at the reception desk to make my next appointment. While I was talking to the receptionist, I got super dizzy out of nowhere, and said, "uhhhhhh, I have to sit down for a minute, I think I'm gonna pass out."

So I walked out into the waiting room and plopped down. The poor nurse must have heard me from down the hall, because next thing I knew she was by my side with a trash can asking if I was going to puke. (She must have remembered me from my first appointment when I had a fainting spell and then puked in their trashcan)
I was ok after a bit, I just stayed in the waiting room chair and read my textbook until it was time for them to take blood.

She came to get me, and I went into the room I like to call the vampire room, because I know that if they take me in that room, I'm getting blood drawn. Annnyway, it was the first time they've taken blood without Dean with me at my appointment, so I was hoping I would do ok. I'm REALLY bad about them taking blood. I was brave though, I just turned my head and squinted my eyes shut and squeezed the heck out of the chair. I felt the prick, and seconds later I felt the faint coming on. But I didn't say anything, because it usually doesn't take long for them to get the blood and I didn't want to be pricked a second time. But she was taking a while this time, and then I heard her say, "well your blood just decided to stop flowing on me!"

At that point I decided to let her in on the fact that I was about to lose consciousness. Thank goodness she had gotten enough out of me though. Then the nausea started, and I announced that I was also about to vomit. There was another pregnant lady in the bathroom nextdoor leaving a sample, so she ran to get one of those weird u-shaped buckets, and I filled it right back up with that nasty glucose juice. They must really hate me at that office, I wonder if everyone else pukes there as much as I do?

Needless to say, I hope to GOD that I pass this test so I don't have to take the 3-hour.

books & boys

Classes start again for the semester today. Ugh. It grosses me out that I have been attempting a bachelor's degree since I graduated highschool. This is my 6th year now. I remember when I started I thought it would be no big thing to finish in 3 years. HA! Started at UCONN (University of Connecticut) with an Actuarial Science major (what the hell was I thinking?!). That's what happens when you are madly in love with a highschool boyfriend and would follow him to the end of the world and back just so you don't have to be away from him!

But that's ok, because when I decided to transfer back to the University of Southern Maine the next year for a Business Marketing major, he decided it was his turn to follow me. We both decided to be RA's during our 2nd year at USM, but broke up for good right before the Fall semester started. I of course was ultra dramatic, thought it was the end of the world, and stopped functioning. I lost a ton of weight, and didn't leave my dorm even to go to class, so I withdrew the semester and stopped being an RA. That didn't help with the whole graduating on time concept, taking a semester off. I moved in with my grandparents in Windham and got a job as a Clinique girl at Macys. (I LOVED that job, seriously!) Then I started dating Adam, and shortly after, got an apartment with my cousin Sarah, her boyfriend Brian, and my BF from highschool, Krystal. It was in the East End in Portland, close to the Eastern Prom. I loved EVERYTHING about that place, my roomates, the location, EVERYTHING! It was one of the funnest times in my life, I turned 21 there and we went out to the Old Port....a LOT! When it's walking distance, that will happen. I started classes again at USM part time, because I was working at Clinique still. But then I decided that I hated Marketing and Management was more the direction I wanted to go.

Adam went on a cross country bike trip (as in bicycle) to California and back, which had been a dream/goal of his for a long time. He left in the late spring, and was going to be gone until the end of the summer, when he would move back to Vermont where he grew up. It left us in a weird state relationship wise, though...we never really solidified if we were together or not while he was gone, or what would happen when he was done with his trip. I started working for my parents company that summer, but I was still living in Portland. So I would drive up to Fairfield every weekday for work, back and forth from Portland. And then on weekends it was our usual pregame/party sessions at the apartment with friends, then we'd all go to the Old Port as usual.

Adam and I eventually broke up for good at some point that summer. It pissed me off that he didn't even call on my birthday, but yet whenever he DID call, he would want to know if I was talking to any other boys, etc. etc. Annnnnyway...the end of the summer came, and I reconnected with Dean on instant message. We started talking more, and decided to meet up at the Blues Club in Waterville one Friday night since I worked in Fairfield anyway. Fireworks! And the rest is pretty much history. He moved down to Portland with me (he HATED it there!) And then we decided to move back up to a place in Waterville, because I was working up there anyway and he hated Portland with a passion. When I moved back up there though, I couldn't go to USM anymore, so I started going to Fort Hays State University, taking classes online. FHSU is based in KANSAS, mind you. Don't ask how I found them, but they have a good business program offered in their "virtual college," completely online.

And here I am now, trying to finish up my degree with them. If I hadn't transferred twice and switched majors twice, I definitely would have been done by now. But each time I transferred, there were courses from previous schools that didn't transfer through, so that's credits wasted. And then the programs for management had different requirements at USM then they did at FHSU, so some of the classes I took were for nothing.

Wow, this has turned into quite the rambling session. My original intent was just to talk about why I am STILL in school trying to get a degree when some people I graduated with have Masters Degrees or multiple bachelors. I ended up going through my dating history along the way too somehow.



Writer's Block: Step right up!

What kind of act would you want to perform if you joined the circus?



New Jewelry Catalog is HERE!

Hey Cookie Lee fans...the new Fall/Winter 2010 catalog is HERE! Go to my website to view it online, and if you're not yet on my mailing list but would like catalogs to be sent to you, fill out the catalog request form there as well. If you've already filled it out, you're on my mailing list and will be receiving your catalog in about a month.

Check it out!



It's Tuesday?

I was bored so I decided to post randomly. I don't have much to say in particular so it will be a rant probably, but it's my journal so I can do what I want :D

My mom and uncle ran a 5k this past weekend, I'm really proud of them, especially mom because she has bad asthma and I know it was probably hard for her, but she did it! I want to do something like that. Maybe that will be my inspiration once Hailey comes, to get in shape. I would definitely be the last person in the race but if I could even just finish it I know I'd be pumped. With that said, I know that since I don't have kids, I have NO idea what I'm in for with the baby and I know I'm going to be DRAINED at first. But she's coming in winter, so maybe I can start trying to run in the late spring/summer? She'll be older then. I've NEVER been able to run, so it's going to take me forever to get there, but I'd like to get to the point where I can at least run a MILE without feeling like I need a stretcher on call. Whenever I DO get the motivation to start, I'm going to try the Couch to 5k (http://www.c25k.com/) program to get me there. It *says* that you can get there in 5 weeks. But I don't care if it takes me the whole summer as long as I eventually can get there! How many miles is 5k anyway? I could definitely google it but I'm too lazy.

I really want a digital SLR camera. I have always loved taking pictures, and now that we have a baby coming I would just love to have one, and learn about REAL photography, not point & shoot stuff. I've been keeping an eye out on craigslist, but the only affordable used SLR's on there are film ones, and I definitely want digital. We don't really have the money to spend on that sort of thing, so it would have to be a used one (and a really good deal at that). I'll keep looking, you never know.

I only took 1 class this summer and got a B for my final grade. Which isn't bad at all, but I mean I was only taking one class. I don't mean to be a douche about it but I don't think it was all my fault. My professor wasn't the best at what he does. I got A's on all of my exams except one (a B). Also, on 3 of my exams, I found MULTIPLE errors in the grading and he ended up correcting my score because Blackboard said I got the questions wrong and I knew I didn't. I'm just glad I caught the mistake. Also, when I emailed him to tell him about the grading errors, he blamed it on blackboard instead of admitting he screwed up. I totally understand that these things happen, and it has happened in other classes. But the difference is that once the professor finds out about it, he/she will send an email to the whole class apologizing, and usually will say, "since it was my mistake, the fair thing to do is not to count this toward your grade."

He didn't do that. Also, it took him FOREVER to respond to my emails, and 2 of them he never responded to at all. Also, he graded me low on my papers (He gave me an 80 on 3 of them, an 85 on one). These were 10-15 page research papers that I worked my tail off on. He sent back the graded copies, and in the comments he wrote things like, "good paper, interesting point, blah blah blah" and the only clear critiques were things like, "you used conjunctions here and here (like They're instead of they are, isn't instead of is not, etc.)

Really? I mean I know I should know better, but if the bones of the paper are good and that's the biggest thing you have negative to say about my paper, why did you give me an 80? idk. I didn't argue with him, I respect his right to grade my paper and all. But I just feel like if it's decent, and I'm getting A's on the exams, cut me a break and give me a B instead of a C (is an 80 a C? I don't even know.) I know that I sound rediculous ranting about that but...basically I just wasn't impressed with this guy. The worst part is that he teaches a lot of the business classes, so I'm definitely going to have him again for a class this fall and probably this spring too. Ew.

It's weird that we haven't been camping this summer. But I wouldn't want to, there's no way I could get comfortable camping while pregnant, especially the no alcohol part. That's awful to say but that's half the fun of it.

I get 2 weeks paid vacation for work, and my plan is to save it for when the baby comes to extend my maternity leave a couple of weeks. I don't know how much time I get for maternity leave. But anyway I've been SO drained lately, it would be nice to have time off. idk. I would rather save it for the baby though so that's what I'll do.

I got a maternity shirt on ebay for a steal, and when I got it, found out it was plus sized. Plus sized large, so it absolutely does NOT work for me. I want to sell it again on ebay but that's so annoying.

Also, I'm ready for fall to get here.


It's a girl!

98.7% sure her name will be Hailey, middle name Rae.


In other news, I'm getting so pregnant and large. But i like it, I'm not SUPER large yet, just obviously pregnant large. Also, I got fitted for a new bra because the twins have GROWN, and was shocked to find out I went from a B cup to a D cup. Whaaaaaaaaa???

I feel like a new woman in my grandma pregnant bra that actually fits. No more quadro-boobs for me!